The diary of Neo: Reloaded
by Ergo-Visavis
Summary: What are Neo's inermost thoguhts? Does Neo HAVE any thoughts? Find out here! YAY!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Nothing. Squat.  
  
The diary of Neo: Reloaded  
  
Entry 1.  
  
Well, had that dream about Trinity dying. I wonder how it finishes. I think I'll go to sit down in a random room.  
  
LATER  
  
Trinity just HAD to come bug me with her dumb questions. Why would I want to tell her about my dream. Especially one where she's dying. Well, Link says we have to go. At least I get to look cool.  
  
Entry 2.  
  
Got blamed for our lateness. Not my fault. When will Link learn that my hair has to be swept to the LEFT. Not the RIGHT, not the BACK, not the FRONT. The LEFT. Well at least we were fashionably late. Not Unfashionably late. And Morpheus got to make his dramatic entrance. So I don't see what he's complaining about. Oh!! Sensed something!! Some guys at the door gave me an envelope. It had an agents ear piece in it. So I told them to clear off. Ha. No dumb extras shall get more screening time than ME! Well, agents broke in. Fought them. Now I can fly!!!!! FLLLLLLYYYYYIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNG!!!!! YAAAAAAAAY!!! Stopped off at the Oracles. I wanted a cookie!! But she wasn't there!! Oh well.  
  
Entry 3.  
  
We're going to Zion. Yipee!!!!!! And Morpeheus is gonna get yeeeelled at. Hehe. Silly Morpheus. Never learns. Oh. It's the Kid again. He is seriously getting on my nerves 'Neo can I carry your bags??' Gaaah!! I never thought being fawned over would be so annoying. Well at least Link takes advantage of him. Someone oughta. Maybe he dies if he isn't serving someone. Well, gotta make out with Trinity. Isn't it tough to be me???  
  
Yipee for me!! I've written a new story!!!! I know it's short, but I can't type no more!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeaase review! Okily dokily!! Sorry. Ned Flanders overload. Oh well! I'm off to do. stuff. Well it's 9:30 pm!! The possibilities are endless!!!! +sits down and eats Nutella+ Weeeell, I know what I'M doing for the rest of the night!!! 


	2. Chapter 2 Councilly people and boring sp...

Oki doki, today I am going to try and write a longer chapter. Yay for you!! And which fic reminds you of mine?? WHIIIIICH!! Tell me now!! Please?  
  
The diary of Neo: Reloaded  
  
Entry 4  
  
Dumb worshippers. I don't see what having me put my hand on a baby's head and saying 'you have my blessing' will change their lives. They're all inferior to me anyways. Hehe. These inferiors are wasting my valuable make out time!!!! Must get AWAY!!! Noo!! There's too many! AAAAAAH!!! Well, I have no choice but to obey! The humiliation. They must be stronger than I thought. Oh well. Apparently there's some sort of rave thing tonight. And Morpheus is gonna make a speech. Sounds cool. But I don't know about the speech part. I'll have to find a way to keep myself awake.  
  
Entry 5  
  
Must. Stay. AWAKE!! Oh good. He's yelling. That should keep me awake. SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!! Oops. Fell asleep. Okay. Just be cool. Cool. Act like nothing happened. SNOO- No!! Bad Neo. Bad!! Oh good. He's done now. Well, there's some music. It's a start. No wait. It's bad music. Ha. They call this a rave. Oo!! There's Trinity!!  
  
Entry 6  
  
Yeeeeep, well I'm feeling pretty good right now. He. And now Trinity has to superglue herself to me!! Wait- maybe she meant 'I'm never letting go' in a METAPHORICAL way!! Hmmmm. That's something to consider. But, I think I should go somewhere and act all weird like. Oh. Here comes that councilly dude, Hamman or something. He actually noticed I couldn't sleep. No really?? I mean, I'm awake, aren't I??? He wants to go stare at machines. Whoopdeedo. I think I'll go with him though.  
  
Entry 7  
  
Hamman thingy is sooooo boring and sooooo dumb. He doesn't even know what control is. Well, I think I'll try and sleep now. Maybe then I won't be bothered by council people who find it enjoyable to stare at machines for hours.  
  
A/N Well I'm off to do something better than sit in front of a computer. Wait. I never do anything else than sit in front of a computer. 


	3. Chapter 3 Candy and flying

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Exept the bits of fluff in my pockets.  
  
Chapter 3.  
  
Entry 8  
  
Well, going to see the oracle!! What fun. I get to have a needle stuck in my head. How do they know it hasn't addled my brains??  
  
LATER, IN MATRIX  
  
Oracle's not in the usual building, but China town or something. Stepped inside room, to see glowing Chinese man. He asked me if I was the One. Well DUH!!! I mean, does he think I'M not hot enough or something?? I'll show him!!! Ooops, he's attacking. I must defend myself and my Oneness!!  
  
Entry 9  
  
The meanie didn't believe I was the One. He had to fight me first! Now he's taking me down a long hall with doors. Apparently his job is to protect the Oracle. Like I care. I just hop she'll give me cookies!!!!  
  
LATER, AFTER GOING THROUGH DOOR.  
  
There she is. And it doesn't look like she has cookies. She's playing mind games with me!! 'have a seat, Neo'. I feel like sitting. SHE MADE ME DO IT!! I WANTED TO STAAAAAAND!!!! Now she's talking about obvious stuff and everything. OO!! CAAAAAAANDY!!!!! Yuuuuuuum. Apparently she's only here for the candy. I have developed slight respect for her. Anyways. Lots of blabbing about programs and the source. Told her about Trinity dream. And now she's telling me about Zion falling, keymakers, sources and men with power. Now she's leaving. Awww. I wanted more candy!!!  
  
Entry 10  
  
AGENT SMITH!! AAAAAH!!! THERE'S TOO MANY!!!!! THEY'RE ALL ON ME!!! MUST. GET. AWAAAAAY!!!!!!  
  
Phew. I'm flying. They won't catch me. They look pissed. Too baaaad.  
  
Entry 11  
  
Weeell, out of Matrix now. I'm tired. Fighting hundreds of Agent Smith's does that to you.  
  
A/N Oki doki! Sorry I took so long with this chapter, but my dumb friends think it's FUNNY to hack my computer and delete my files. 


	4. Chapter 4 Jealousy and bulletstopping

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.  
  
Chapter 4.  
  
Entry 12  
  
Had to explain to Morpheus what happened. I mean, he was watching. Doesn't he know??? Or is his brain seeping out of his head through his abnormally large tooth gap?? Well, lets not rule that out of the list of possibilities. I think I'm gonna go to sleep while I can!  
  
Entry 13  
  
Going to see the Merovingian. I have to plug in again.  
  
LATER  
  
So. many . French. can't. take it! AAAAH!! Dumb Merovingian. Showing off his linguistic skills. Cursing now. But I'm the One! I should be able to speak freeench!! Anywho, now Mero's talking about some woman and chocolate cake and causality and being out of control. I don't see why we have to listen to him talk. All I want is the keymaker! And I don't think Merv likes the Oracle. He won't give me the keeeymakeeer!  
  
Entry 14  
  
Well we're still alive. But kinda sorta keymaker-less. Oh! There's Merv's wife! And she wants me to kiss her. If I do she'll give me the keymaker!! But I have a tiny idea that Trinity isn't so happy. She's got her gun out. Oh well. I'll just get this over with, and hope Trin doesn't pummel me. Hey! Persephone says I don't kiss well!!! I'll show her! Dumb French person!! Uh oh. Trinity looks mad. But Persephone changed her mind about me! We're gonna get the keymaker!!  
  
Entry 15  
  
Yeeep, well Perse just killed one of her husbands body guards. Hehe. And now we get the keymaker!! His room has lotsa keys in it. Well, looks like Mero isn't too happy about Persephone going behind his back. Oh! Merv just got BURNED!! Perse knows he cheated on her. Hehe. Now he's cursing again. Mero should really learn to talk normally. And maybe fix his accent. Oh! Keymaker's running away. And these reeeally cool twins are going after him! They can walk through floors!! But they're supposed to be enemies. Awww. HEY! Trinity and Morpheus are leaving me alone to fight the evil henchmen!! And henchwoman! COOL! I get to stop bullets! And look hot!  
  
A/N Sorry for all the typos!! I got my friend to beta read the fic, but that was before I remembered he can't spell to save his life either. Sorry about the wait, but first I was lazy, then I was in France and there was no Internet. And people, I love reviews, so write plenty of them. P.S. Olivia and Anne, thanks for reviewing!! Love you both! See ya in the hellhole (school)! 


	5. Chapter 5 Stuff

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am broke. SO STOP MAKING ME PUT THIS HERE!  
  
Chapter 5.  
  
Entry 15  
  
Whoohoo!! I'm kicking BUTT!! Punchkickflipkilljumpkickrun punchstobswordwithhand- killkillkill!! Heh. That'll teach them to mess with NEO!! AHAHAHAHA!! My hand is bleeding. Anywho. Must run after Trinity, Keymaker (does he even have a NAME??), and Mr. Yoda aka Pimple-popper aka Morpheus.  
  
LATER  
  
Well, I'm having a great time arriving in the nick of time to witness Morepheus get his ass kicked by some ugly-ass agent dude. Heh. Man. I guess I HAVE to save him.  
  
Entry 16  
  
TO DO LIST  
  
listen to keymaker dude talk about buildings and stuff, tell Trin to stay out of Matrix, listen to Morpheus's speech about wars and stuff worth dying for, get to the source, kick butt in general.  
  
Entry 17  
  
Ok, The Keymaker was all 'On this level, there are many doors that lead to many different places'. I mean HELLOOO! It's not like the doors lead to other things than places! Anyways.  
  
Entry 18  
  
I'm getting all plugged in. had usual discussion with Link over hair and coat. He keeps saying there's no way I can inspire terror in the hearts of Agents wearing a dress. IT'S NOT A DRESS!! It is a LONG TRENCHCOAT, ok??? Get it??? 'Cause I don't think you DO!!!! Ahem. My fit is over. Keymaker makes all his keys by hand. There are MACHINES for that!! Oops. We're fighting against machines.  
  
Entry 19  
  
I'm just an anomaly, looking out a window. At least I have sunglasses. That are COOL. And a trenchcoat. THAT IS NOT A DRESS. In building. Running around. Lots of doors. The architect must have had a twisted mind. It's very confusing. DAMN! IT'S SMITH!! Doesn't he ever DIE?? Asking me why I seem surprised to see him. HE KEEPS COMING BACK! Well, gotta fight!  
  
A/N Know this is probably the shortest chapter EVER, but the parental unit is yelling at me to 'get my butt of that chair and turn off the computer'. And Olivia (or Virginia Wolf, or whatever suicidal writer is lodged in your brain right now) NEVER, will I do a Neo/Smith slash fic, ok???? NEVER. . In fact I will probably never do a slash fic of any kind. So stop bugging me with that!!! Or I might have to stop coming to school. Which I won't mind much, but. You SICK little girl!! Well, you ARE older than me. Oh, and it's eNculé, not eculé. :p. 


	6. Chapter 6 The end For now I think

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Really.  
  
A/N Sorry 'bout the wait everybody, but I've been real busy lately- okay, real lazy lately. But here comes another chapter!! Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 6: Saying imposing things and tv's that don't lie.  
  
Entry 20:  
  
I'm fighting Agent Smith, and somehow, I'm writing in here. Isn't that weird?? I'd never stopped to think about that. I'm multitasking!!!! Yay!  
  
Why doesn't this guy ever stop??? I have business to attend to. Like saving the world and looking hot while doing so. It's so hard to be me. +sigh+  
  
Entry 21:  
  
Keymaker got shot, and he gave me a key so I could open a SPECIAL door, that's special. Just like meeeee!!  
  
Opened door. There are lots of tv's in here... And an old man in a spinning chair. I always wanted one of those. Then I could spin in it for hours an hour's wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Oh, old dude's talking to me. I guess I have to answer him, and ask questions and stuff. It's so hard to be the One.  
  
Entry 22:  
  
Apparently, this guy is the Architect, and he created the Matrix or something. I don't really know. I was to busy staring at my beautiful self in the hundreds of tv screens. Now Architect's using long, complicated words that I don't understand. What on earth does 'ergo' mean??? I'm confused. Oh well, I'll just pick at this loose thread on my trenchcoat (A/N or cassok, which is what the dress- I mean, trenchcoat (or cassok) is really called, according to Zadie_RainStar. Though why Keanu Reeves would choose to look like a priest in a sci-fi/action movie is BEYOND ME). That is NOT a dress!!!!!  
  
LATER  
  
According to Architect, the prophecy's bullshit and Trinity's in the Matrix. He showed her to me on the tv screens. Tv never lies.... Durn durn durn... Well, I guess I have to save her, or she'll end up dead, like in my dream. Hmm... I should say something sort of, well, imposing, to the architect before leaving. How about... 'If I were you, I would hope we don't meet again'. There that's good. No way MTV can parody THAT.  
  
Entry 23:  
  
Trinity almost fell on a car, but I, being special and One-y saved her. Sort of. She got shot by an agent while she was falling out a window. Well, I guess I could make a speech about loving her and pull out the bullet. Or I could just make out with her, and hope that that works. But that would lead me down the path of necrophilia. I'll just go with option number 1.  
  
LATER  
  
Saved Trin, made out with her, then got unplugged, and told Morpheus that the prophecy was wrong and stuff. He got all mad, but then squiddies showed up, so we had to run away. But I felt more special after, so I decided to try and use my super One powers!!!! And then all the squiddies... died. If a machine can die. I think I'll slip into a coma now. Y'know, just for fun, and to be all suspense-y. +is in coma+  
  
-- TO BE CONTINUED – (Yes, I am not content with wasting people's lives with two fanfics, I must write a third!!)  
  
A/N Well, I should be starting a Revo diary soon. I think. Well, maybe not SOON, but sometime before 2005. And I KNOW that my chapters are short. Very short. But I just can't seem to make them longer. Well, I could, but then I'd just have less chapters. And I hate writing and typing. Okay, so I hate all forms of exercise. Well, I don't know why I write fanfiction anyway... Well, to those who like what I write +complete silence+ I will keep going. I also might add something to this, like a diary of what Neo dreams and does in his coma. People, I love reviews. Write a bunch. 


End file.
